Getting the most out of mentorship
A guide for mentors and mentees
Mentorship comes in many forms. Paid vs. free. Stranger vs. friend. Coworker vs. external. Same career vs. related career. Career vs. spiritual vs. emotional vs. financial, etc.
What I’ll be talking about is mentorship within the realm of product design work.
My experience with mentorship
Before my career in design, I went to music school. This involved numerous mentors — all of whom had their own styles.
My time in design began as a mentee at one of many “bootcamps.” I had three mentors during that period. One during the foundational part of the course, another for the duration of the main course, and another as part of career services after completing the course.
After spending a few years working in design, I became a mentor on ADPList. This platform allows anyone to book a session with a mentor for free. I booked many sessions and also gave a few.
When working at Grubhub, the design team instituted a mentorship program in which you could opt to be a mentor and/or a mentee and be matched to another designer in the org. Through this, I became the mentee of a product design manager, and the mentor to a UX researcher. And finally, I also mentor at Designlab, the “bootcamp” that I attended 5 years ago.
All of this background is simply to say, I’ve experienced a lot of forms of mentorship.
Bad mentors
I have had a few bad mentors in my time. Some were always distracted. Others seemed to have strong opinions that they couldn’t back up. Others could talk forever, but couldn’t show me anything. Some mentors just whined. From this, I have one strong piece of advice for dealing with a bad mentor:
Don’t waste your time
In almost all circumstances, I could have ended the relationship sooner but felt like I wasn’t “allowed.” In retrospect, it would have been wiser to get a new mentor.
Good mentors
A good mentor will be different for everyone. But assuming that you’ve found a mentor you’re happy with, here are some tips for getting the most out of the relationship.
Consistent meetings
Mentors that you meet with regularly will provide more value. Many of my sessions with ADPList went like this:
- 10 minutes of intros
- 10 minutes of context setting for a project I’m sharing
- 10 minutes of feedback
When you meet with someone regularly, the meetings can go more like this:
- 5 minutes of catching up
- 20 minutes of collaborative feedback
- 5 minutes of next steps and scheduling
Additionally, as you establish a relationship, you will learn how to prepare for sessions in a way that’s ideal for your mentor. Your mentor, at the same time, will learn how you receive feedback, and be able to give you feedback on more complex problems.
Go in with questions
Few things are as painfully awkward as when a mentee shows up with nothing to share. Maybe, if we have an established relationship, we can freestyle a bit. But when it’s someone I’ve never met, and they have no questions — it’s an uncomfortable experience. And it’s usually a waste of time for both parties.
This is one reason I support paid mentorships (when equitable) — mentees are more likely to be serious about their sessions when they’re paying for them.
Short and long-term goals
If you have a consistent mentor, discuss short and long-term goals. It’s easy to fall into the trap of showing what you’re currently working on every session and getting some feedback. While this can be valuable, it ignores the long-term trajectory of your career, and this is where mentorship can shine.
Talk about your goals for the year and for the next 5 years. I’ve been debating the age-old individual contributor vs management decision for a bit now, and I’ve had some insightful conversations with mentors that wouldn’t have come up if I wasn’t talking about long-term goals in my sessions.
Tip for mentors
Being a mentor can be exciting. I have two main tips for being a quality mentor.
Talk about feedback types early
I learned this the hard way. Early on, I gave very direct feedback. Not everyone receives direct feedback well — and if your feedback isn’t received well, then you’re not doing your job.
Now whenever I start with a new mentee, one of the first conversations we have is about feedback. I ask how they like to give and receive feedback (those two things are often different!). I also make it very clear that if they’re ever uncomfortable with how I give feedback, they should feel okay to bring it up to me.
This practice has been amazing. I’ve watched people really open up because they feel safe.
Don’t forget to learn
Being a mentor doesn’t make you omniscient. There’s plenty you don’t know. There have been times when my mentees have been more qualified than me. There have been times when I’ve spent an entire mentor session, as the mentor, learning from my mentee. This is one of the beauties of mentorship — it can be a very symbiotic relationship. By trying to have all the answers, you might accidentally close your mind!
Conclusion
Mentorship can be an important part of a career. And it’s worth spending some time trying to find a mentor that works for you.
And when you feel ready, consider mentoring others! You might not feel qualified, but there are always people at an earlier stage in their career who could use some guidance. And we all have our own strengths. Consider being a mentor!
